Wedding In Nigeria: At What Cost? The money usually involved in organising a wedding in Nigeria can be an alarming amount, creating barriers for many intending love-birds. AGBO-PAUL AUGUSTINE (Abuja) soughtout the views of Nigerians on the burning matter and reports.

Wedding In Nigeria: At What Cost?

The money usually involved in organising a wedding in Nigeria can be an alarming amount, creating barriers for many intending love-birds. AGBO-PAUL AUGUSTINE (Abuja) soughtout the views of Nigerians on the burning matter and reports.  
Young adult look up to their wedding day, a day cherish by most families as a successful nurturing of a child to adulthood. Today, the cost of hosting a crowd of people to feast for few hours is fast having a grind on the finances of millions of homes even after the ceremony.
For some, the cost of a wedding is enough reason to remain single under the cover of still searching for the right bride. While some weddings are adjudged ‘weddings of all times’, others are just subjects for‘petty talk’.
Some weddings in Nigeria are said to have cost a fortune going by the splendour and style not forgetting the big weight of personality that grace the August Day. Magazines, newspapers, photographers and television houses feast on the event to catch the best shots of dresses and make-ups by worn by guests. Others are simply another season of free food and gifts.
Eddy Osakwe, a photographer in Kaduna and indigene of Edo state had a good time in his chosen profession. In 1998 he married Agnes Adah, a trader from Benue state. Their wedding sparked wave of society talk in Kakuri, an industrial hub of Kaduna.
Little did the guests know that all they enjoyed that day were largely bankrolled on the monies borrowed from several sources;  four years after the wedding, Osakwe was still burdened by the debt he had collected to organised the wedding. The marriage had been blessed with kids but the chains of debt still hung on the door.
Osakwe, unfortunately, died 10 years later, leaving his wife Agnes and four children with spill over debts some carried from the cost of their wedding.
When LEADERSHIP Weekend went to town to sample opinions of Nigerians on the matter, present economy reality appeared to have taken a hold on people. Nigeria is said to have over 112 million people living below poverty line of less than $2 (N326) a day. Also, with an alarming rate of unemployment among the youth and graduates alike, wedding is no longer just the joining of two persons in love in matrimony but a luxury generally cheered by all.
Deacon Moses Oni, a marriage counsellor with Living Faith Church, Kaduna said the cost of wedding depends on the individual’s ability. “We encourage those that come through us to do it moderately between N100, 000 to N150, 000,” he said.
He added that some people just want to impress others by spending all they have and even go into debt to organise wedding. “It is the blessing of God in your marriage that matters and the big challenge in the Nigerian contest is how to pay the dowry; after paying the dowry, you can get a cow or chicken for N50, 000, rent a gown for N10, 000, cake for N20, 000, reception and other things should not cost more than N70, 000.
“Whatever you have put on ground, bless it and everybody goes; if you kill 10 cows people will still accused you of wastages and if you do less, complaints will still come and that is why we came to a conclusion that with N150, 000 you can have a wedding done in peace,”  Oni stated.
For Dr Theophilus Lagi, a University don at the Nasarawa State University, Keffi wedding is based on the economy of the people involve. He said a businessman or a worker cannot be compared to a fresh graduate who chooses to go into marriage.  He said factors like societal expectations, religion and culture influence the cost of weddings.
He opined that in as much as most of the economic cost is put on the groom with the expectation of the bride always high, “any wedding that goes beyond N200, 000 is extravagant.”
A socio-political scientist, Dr Usman Mohammed, was of the view that no matter how bad the economy may be, there are cultures that never changes. “There are traditional practices that must be done to earn a man a bride and it so important because it’s a total way of life; those cultural beliefs are so tangible to the union of families and it goes to explain discipline and how a woman respects the man.
“After following the rigours of culture, then the entire family and society becomes solidify, we must look at it from that point of sociological perspective that has made the cost of wedding more expensive in some areas in Nigeria than other sections,” he said.
He added that religion has help to water down some of the hard-up demand of culture in wedding preparations to a more liberal form given many options to follow.
Dr Mohammed said there is a new development in the country where people are drifting away from cultures that demand so much in wedding for cultures with lesser demands. In spite of class, education and pride of place in the society, he will advise for a budget of between N500, 000 and N1 million. “But in Islam, the most important thing in wedding is the dowry which is not more than N36, 000 as her wellbeing, health, moral upbringing and satisfaction will be the groom responsibility for life,” Mohammed revealed.
Ustaz Ibrahim Kolo based in Abuja said a dowry of N10, 000 is ideal for a hand of a bride. “Islamically, that is the only thing that is supposed to be given in marriage in Islam but the couple can spend whatever they like but it’s not obligatory.”
Kolo advise for a total cost of N100, 000 for a wedding saying that the life after the wedding is very important than the wedding itself.
A newly weeded couple Matthew and Diane Nimba based in Kaduna were of the view that N500, 000 would be ideal for a wedding. “When we had ours, it cost us N780, 000 and we are were not comfortable with it because it put a lot of strain on our finances; the people involve should determine what they want to spend not the people around them as today nobody cares about what we eat, drink or stay again,” the couple said.
Pastor Ajibola Ayoade of Crystal Church, Abuja said that since life is in phases, men are also in sizes. “Everyone must be sincere to know his size per tie, the cost of wedding is not determine by the society, custom or tradition is about the players, the people involve realising what they can do or not in terms of access to resources,” he said.
He advises prospective couples that after the wedding, there is a life to live. There is no grading for wedding, hence Ayoade urged Nigerians to be minded of what they spend on wedding.
Head, Department of Psychology, Benue State University, Makurdi, Prof. Josiah Shindi told LEADERSHIP Weekend that many couples are being exploited in the name of marriage. “There is so much eye-service and dishonesty in weddings which has led couples been extorted of money leaving them with little to begin a home with.
“If we are going to have any deadline, the principle of it should be affordability because ideally, marriage is the exchange of vows between the two families and is strictly a matter of the two families coming together to agree on bride price and other ventures,” he said.