LAMENTATIONS OF AN UGLY GIRL (PROLOGUE)

Before I start, I’d like us all to agree on some
conditions. I did not bring my life out here to
be advised or to be told that “beauty is in the
eyes of the beholder” shit or “You’re beautiful
in your heart” crap. *abeg, how is a lady
suppose to be beautiful in her heart, so guys
will be like “guy, check out that girl”s heart,
it’s so beautiful mehn*. In addition, you must
know that my life is not a Bond movie so
there are days when adrenaline would ooze
without caution and there are days when I am
more boring than twerking to a bagpipe tune.
That being said; fasten your seatbelts people.
I am Gbadamosi Omotolani, 21 year old,
chocolate skinned, 5ft 9”, almost hourglass
figure. You must be imagining one fine Ini-
Edo-like girl to be. Wait till I tell you about my
face. I am a custodian of the Ibadan culture
in every sense of the word: I have three thick
tribal marks on each side of my face.
(Keyword thick; thicker than most of this flat
screen TVs width) Ok, let me stop for you to
throw up, I just did that myself.
Of all four children of my parents, I am the
only one with tribal marks; the others do not
even have scars not to mention marks on
their faces. Every time I ask my dad the
reason for the marks, he brings up this topic
of how I am a true representation of the
Ibadan people and I am meant to be identified
anywhere I go.
I have tried bleaching, toning, peeling and all
other unprintable things to take it off but like
DJ Sose’s tattoo, up in my face till death. I
have since learnt to live with it[tempted to
call it disability], never let it deter my rep, it
just made me put extra work in looking fine or
manageable as the case may seem.
Although I cannot wear loud clothes unlike my
friends, oh my friends, damn, I miss those
girls, Bola, slightly spoilt, second daughter of
a business mogul, this girl is crazy but she is
always fun to be with.
Vivian, light skinned, Omo Ibo, we met as
fresh-men and have known each other since
then, the babe, my direct opposite because
she is fine. Now to the life of the pack, drama
mama, Elizabeth, she is the CNN of the pack,
very melodramatic, straightforward and funny;
she never misses chance of a good laugh.
They say true friends are like gems, these
ones are diamonds, I remember this one time,
when the four of us were walking together
and some guys came to greet us. They
walked past me and proceeded to greet Bola.
Surprisingly, she said “you saw someone
before me, if you can’t greet her just walk”.
“Walk” Elizabeth echoed, strutting her fingers
in demonstration, guys being guys, they just
walked but the next time they sure greeted.
So many other ways, we all had to stand up
for each other. School resumes in a week and
I can’t wait.
P.S: I am a writer although I might not be
able to tell my story adeptly but I can do that
completely and truthfully.

WATCHOUT FOR PART 1: